Illustration is fanciful.

Sea-Monkeys are such an old standby. They were advertised in Archie comics when I was a lad, along with chest expanders, X-ray spex and hovercars. The promotional material is so outrageously inaccurate (they do NOT smile at you, and females do NOT wear a bow in their hair for easy identification), that they have always been an easy target for the kind of comedians who like easy targets. There are NO Sea-Monkey jokes left, folks.

However - the boys got some for Christmas, and I am actually seeing them and their Official Handbook for the first time in my life. The Monkeys© are pretty much like something you buy a water filter to avoid. The Handbook however, is a laugh riot. This is consistent with me usually finding culture more diverting than nature. On the front it says "Hybrid Artemia Salina (Brine Shrimp). Illustration is fanciful - does not depict Artemia". At the back is an order form. Highlights:

Item No. 69 Sea-Monkeys© "Banana Treat" - $4.00
"...here's a TREAT for your favourite pals and a wonderful way to REWARD them for the FUN they give you! A long-lasting supply of tasty "dessert" for your aquatic pals that provides health-giving vitamins, minerals and LOVE!"

Item No. 84 Cupids Arrow Mating Powder - $4.00
"For shy Sea-Monkeys© afraid of 'marriage', this fabulous formula will give them a quick trip to the 'altar'! Once 'hooked', former 'bachelor' Sea-Monkeys© will fill your tank with oodles of cute babies - fast!"

Item No. 350 The Amazing Sea-Bubble Pendant - $7.50
"Expect everyone to gasp in awe and envy when they see you wearing the beautiful 'Sea-Bubble' with up to six Sea-Monkeys© swimming inside..."

I would like to add that in researching this post (stealing a pic) I found this blog comment; "There Brine shrimp and thats what I feed to my false percula clowns". I am hoping this person is holding captive some real false clowns.

I would like to also add that the Monkeys© are a product of Educational Insights - Sea Monkey Division. I am inspired, and when I get back to work after my school holiday break I will be asking if Roar Film could also establish a Sea Monkey Division. Maybe to take very small projects, grow them a little bigger, then throw them out when they start to get a bit whiffy.