Soccer names

I passed a lazy half hour this morning (a public holiday) slurping tea and looking over the program for the weekend's soccer carnival, primarily at the kids' names. I am of course not wanting to make fun of names which are part of other cultures. Just names from the stranger aspects of my own culture.

I see these names as a desperate stab at creativity by some parent or parents who possibly have very limited outlets for their poetic hearts. I imagine these are people who put a high premium on things that are NEW and DIFFERENT and UNIQUE. How about naming your daughter Angel? Wait. POWER MOVE. How about going one better and naming her Aingel? Really get the Ain in there so people don't think of Angle.

One girls team has a very tempestuous backline Imagine the drama and recriminations when Storm is picking the ball out of the net and pointing the finger at Skye and Angel (without an i).

One team has two Zoes and a Zara. Zzzzzzzzz!! One team has two Raphaelas and a Gabriella but they are all beyond reproach judging by the surnames. There are Pipers and Ethans absolutely everywhere. It's times like this that I appreciate my ignorance of the old testament - it must be quite unsettling to have grandchildren named Noah and Caleb and Aaron and Zachariah when those names create vivid images in your mind of first-borns being slain and calves being fatted etc.

Did Brumby Smalley and Luke Klug's parents ever say those names out loud? I'm sure they are great kids by the way and I wish all of them, the Chloes and Zoes and Kades and Jades and my favourite - plain old Erin Fudge - all the best with their soccer careers.