The mulch economy

Elf had a load of mulch delivered down the front of the house on Friday. Her masterplan to get it up to the backyard was to pay 25¢ per bucketload to the boys and any other kids we could press-gang on the weekend. On Sunday morning Marcus, Cameron and Lana got into the task eagerly, in fact so eagerly that Elf soon decreed a $10 cap on what she would pay any one urchin. I acted as foreman/tally clerk. I was also preventing Winston running out the open gate, and reading news off the internet, cumbersomely copied from the net-connected computer downstairs onto this offline laptop.

I think all three kids got up to $10 in the end. Michael participated occasionally, but kept swapping his bucket for smaller and odder containers, culminating with a medium-size jam jar.

I am also paying Marcus 10¢ a time to blow his nose at the moment. Before I "monetized" the situation, every time I would ask him to blow rather than snort disgustingly (he was usually reading or playing games on his i-pod at the time) he would complain that blowing his nose hurt. Apparently it hurts a lot less when it gets you 1/30th of the way to a pack of football cards.

Mowing the mushrooms

The rain god gave us a bit of respite on the weekend. On Saturday I was actually able to mow the back lawn. After I mowed it, I was feeling so mow-tivated (heh) I dragged the mower up to the little public paddock behind and mowed that too (extremely long damp grass and rampant fungi). Then to celebrate, Marcus and I had a game of 2 on 2 soccer with Cam and Adrian from next door. Adrian and I triumphed with some awesome pinpoint passing, sharp finishing in front of goals and just a small number of well-timed shoves on my part.

On Sunday I went out to do my usual manual clipping of the steep front yard. Elf suggested I try mowing that too. I've always been too chicken, as it is not just steep but lumpy - there is a constant risk of stepping in a hole and letting the mower go, whence it would career across a busy road and then perhaps tumble into a front yard opposite, mowing all the while. Anyway, I did a light manual clip to reveal the basic contours of the land then went over it with the mower. Tidy! Our fence man is halfway through building our new front fence, so the whole area is generally looking a lot nicer and less student-share-housey all of a sudden.

By the time I had finished Marcus and the boys next door were baying for a rematch. This time Marcus and Cameron gave us a hiding 11-6.

POSTSCRIPT: This is quite a boring story so I feel the need to point out why mowing was so exciting. It has just been SO wet for four months (and apparently October is shaping up to continue this way) that a dry sunny weekend has been literally something to write home about. We usually average 212mm of rain from Jun-Sept, this year we had 416mm.

Beverages in history

Cameron and Adrian next door were charging around their backyard. Cameron had a home-made bow and a short sword. Adrian speaks with a slight lisp but it's funnier if I render it with the full Elmer Fudd.

Adrian: Its wine, not wum!
Cameron: I'm pretty sure its rum.
Adrian: NO, IT'S WINE.
Me: Hi guys. What's up?
Cameron: Do you like my bow? Mum won't let me make any arrows though. So I'm being a Roman archer! [brandishes sword]
Me: What's the wine business?
Cameron: Well I said that Roman soldiers drink rum, but he thinks they drink wine.
Me: Yep, I'm pretty sure they drank wine.
Adrian: Wum was someone else.
Me: Probably pirates.
Adrian: Yes, PIWATES! Piwates dwink wum.
Cameron: And convicts.