Plastic bag ban

They have banned plastic bags in South Australia, and talk is rife that the ban will spread. I don't know about you, but I'm digging a short trench, buying a length of poly pipe and burying my plastic bags. Damn do-gooder big-government political correctness! Don't tell them I told you. Also I'm buying two pallets of tins of beans, and growing a beard.

Future beard

We are trying to cajole Michael out of nappies.

Elf: When you are a big grown-up you won't wear nappies will you?
Michael: No. And I will have a beard on the bottom of my nose.