Monday, February 01, 2010

Some thoughts on show jumping

Photo from WikiCommons

I was watching TV with Marcus yesterday when a snippet of show jumping came on. I said "look at those two mammals working together - what a team". He is well used to hearing me drone on this theme; that we are mammals, and we have to stick together with the other mammals; the hyrax, the kangaroo rat, Hattie, Paris Hilton - we are all in this together. He ignored me.

But [in some strange out of body way] I listened to myself, and it got me thinking - what if there was a version of show jumping open to ANY mammal-on-mammal team? We might arrogantly think we would have the other combos on toast. But would we? Imagine if you will, given a few alterations to the course and obstacles, how a koala on a greyhound would go. Greyhound:fast, koala: hangs on like nobody's business. What about a jack russell terrier on a cheetah? This time, the pup is providing the brains (cheetahs are not the smartest) while the cheetah is there for pure pace. And who wouldn't like to see a JRT in one of those little jackets?

In thoroughbred racing, the track is rated fast, good, dead, slow or heavy, depending on dampness. Imagine a track that started heavy then had about a billion squiggolitres of water poured on it. It's now rated marine environment. Now, imagine, instead of fences, there are hoops. Are you following me? Cue the team of dolphin and water rat. In terms of racecraft and cunning, you are going to have to go some way to beat the rat. The dolphin will be able to actually count the laps which can only improve its winning chances. Plus, if required, it can see off any attacking sharks. Even Seabiscuit couldn't do that.

2 comments:

Julie Ward said...

I must thank you today for making me laugh so much I scared the dogs.
Being part of that 2 mammal team myself on occassion(not so much any more)and having a lurcher as a family member,I can agree that the greyhound/koala team would deffo give us a run for our money.

Best wishes from Limerick and thanks again for a great start to my day.

chris.dadness said...

You're welcome! I sure do love it when someone else gets a kick out of one of my delusions. Plus I've learned a new word - deffo. Ace! I hope your Limerick day continues to be terrific.