Swami Ramakrishnan Dog Grooming

As part of Elf's New Business business, I applied for an ABN, Australian Business Number. When I was entering Elf's name, I had a choice of about 100 honorifics, over and above Mr, Ms and Mrs. These included;

• Abbott
• Admiral
• Baroness
• Bishop
• Count
• Deputy Superintendent
  
• Earl
• General
  
• Honourable Justice
• Lord
• Mother
• Rabbi
• Rector
• Regimental Sergeant Major of the Army
• Sister Superior
• Squadron Leader
• Station Master
• Swami
• Vice Admiral

I have a very clear picture of an Australian Tax Office waiting room filled with the appropriate vestments, robes, handmaids, moustaches and hats. They make small talk as they wait for a synthesised voice to call the number printed on the ticket clutched in their / their disciple's / their valet's hand.

Earl: So, Sister Superior. What have you got on the go?
Sister Superior: Well the Swami and I had that wood fired pizza place, went arse up sadly, but we had this idea about portable dog grooming. And you?
Earl: Yeah, books of vouchers, bit of advertising sold already, you know. Use the contacts. I see the Bishop is back again. Oh God, he's coming over. Hi Bish.
Bishop: Hi Roger, Janice. Wow. Thought I'd seen the back of this place when I launched the mini-golf centre. What numbers ya got?

Etc etc. Writes itself really.