Monday, October 03, 2011

AFL Grand Final Day entertainment

For now I won't do my usual review of the game. Although it was a corker, the talking point today at work was Meat Loaf's staggeringly poor pre-match "entertainment". I was listening on radio and simply had to turn it off until he was removed from the arena. I have since seen the footage and wish I could erase it from my mind, along with his tuneless gruntings. Never before has someone been paid so much ($500,000+) to look and sound like a beached dugong. However if you would like to see how much a t-shirt cannon can look like a penis, feel free to watch it on YouTube.

The AFL has a solid history of poorly judged, under-performing and simply bizarre pre-match entertainment. It is actually cherished by the football-loving public - we all love to reminisce about Angry Anderson coming on in the Batmobile, the giant inflatable footballer that wouldn't stand up, and so on. But this was just loathsome. He chewed gum right through the performance.

How many of this list do you remember?

For instance in 2005 "The Whitlams performed No Aphrodisiac." Whaaat? It must have taken an hour or so for the vibe to recover from that little dirge-like number.

In 2006 "Brian Mannix, John Paul Young, Sean Kelly, Daryl Braithwaite and Shane Howard performing a medley including Up There Cazaly, One Day in September, Solid Rock, Yesterday's Hero, The Horses, Everybody Wants to Work and I Hear Motion." So - pretty much the moment the mash-up was invented.

Not as terrible but equally lacking in judgement was the national anthem, sung by Vanessa Amorosi. The saying "she made the song her own" is meant to be a compliment - but its not something you are supposed to do with Advance Australia Fair. She was OK until the near the end when she Mariah Caried it to death. This national anthem is now unfit for any further use and will need to be replaced by a new one.


mjc said...


Nobody said...

Poor old Vanessa...just got (Maria) Caried away in the moment!

chris.dadness said...

Performers: when a little voice says "I am going to rock this stuffy old anthem like its never been rocked before" - ignore that.

Nobody said...

See also: Rosanne Barr