Michael's close relationship with Dog is well known. Today he revealed more.
Michael: I am Doggy's daddy.
Me: Are you? And who is your daddy?
Michael: You aren't my daddy. You are just a man... walking around the town... of England. (This was said with little pauses to think of details to emphasise my unimportance).
I was absent earlier when he said to Elf and Marcus that his willy had five nippers in it... no, four nippers.
Elf: Have you got wees Michael?
Michael: No - my willy has four nippers in it.
He's already got the "exasperatedly dealing with deaf old parent" attitude down pat.