Darts commentary

Some pearls from the great Sid Waddell. Mick O'Regan interviewed him on Radio National a few weeks ago, and he has an incredible Geordie accent, and a history degree from Cambridge. One of his first jobs out of Uni in 1962 was to work out the Indian election results. A comment he made that I will be using myself ASAP was: "if yuv invarted a tayger to tea, ya dorn't carver yeself in soss!"

If you had to throw a knife at your wife in the circus, you'd want to throw it like that.

Jocky Wilson - all the psychology of a claymore.

Keith Deller is not just an underdog - he’s an under puppy.

Taylor is so hot he could hit the bullseye standing one-legged in a hammock.

Steve Beaton. He’s not A-donis, he’s THE Donis.

Bristow with that little finger poised - fit to grace any garden party.

Circus Tavern packed - even a garter snake smothered in Vaseline couldn’t slide in here.

When Alexander of Macedonia was 33 he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer - Bristow is only 27!

Bristow’s effect on the audience like Rasputin used to have on the birds a long time ago.

It might have been a bit boisterous here earlier, but now it’s got all the courtesy of a Bourbon court on dance night.

The players are under so much duress, it’s like Duressic Park out there.